Vox Mag. Girl's Lingerie Review: Britney Spears's Weird, Sad Lingerie Show

[Guest Zooey Deschanel]

AN ARTICLE: http://racked.com/archives/2014/09/10/britney-spears-the-intimate-lingerie-collection-nyfw-spring-2015.php

 

"I am an art, paint me in pastels, the softest blush of roses playing peek-a-boo on sheer nylon."

This is the Britney Spears voiceover that jumpstarted the debut presentation of her lingerie line. This is real life.

We should have been tipped off to the weirdness to come when we were greeted 45 minutes earlier by a dude with a lightsaber standing in the hallway of the New York Public Library. "Is this invite-only? Did you get an invite? You have to have an invite to go in." Yes, yes you do, but that doesn't mean that this was exactly a hot ticket.

While the rest of the fashion world flitted from Rodarte to Dieselto Naeem Khan, and the rest of the actual world intently watched the Apple livestream, the few (and we do mean few) diehard fans of Britney Jean Spears made their way to Bryant Park to watch her unveil some underwear and maybe even see her in the flesh.

 

With two minutes to call time, the venue is at a quarter capacity. Everything is white: the light from the ornate skylight, the bleached-wood Chiavari chairs with linen cushions, the plush temporary carpet. The small crowd keeps getting aggressively shushed even though the presentation won't start for another 15 minutes. Does Britney demand that kind of reverence? Or is it because we're in a library? Probably the latter.

The air is scented with one of the many Eaus de Brit and a photographer gets in a final and completely unnecessary "NO GUM CHEWING" command before the voiceover forThe Intimate Britney Spears starts.

"Paint me satin and embroider me with mother of pearl. Paint me feminine with a bow and let me feel like a little girl. This is the art of being a woman and remembering the feelings of a girl."

This...this is the worst. And the best. For the next several minutes, models parade out on stage to create a boudoir tableau. There's a girl in furry pink mules straight out of that Sex and the City episode where Samantha tries to get Carrie to sluttify her BOOK cover, and another in a thong who shows us her butt cheeks and then proceeds to mist herself with perfume for the duration of the presentation. There's anIvanka Trump lookalike, a model in some sort of pajama pantsuit, and two girls in bright red getups who perform a synchronized seduction dance.

And then there's Britney.

She is on stage for exactly 28 seconds, all neon jumpsuit and vacant eyes. "If confidence is a feeling, what does it feel like?" she asked via voiceover just moments before. It certainly doesn't feel like this.

She poses for a second (literally, a second) and then hightails it outta there. It's weird and it's sad, but The Intimate Britney Spears will probably net her another billion dollars. Because even if the fashion set couldn't be bothered with Brit's NYFW appearance, America can't say no to underthings inspired by "silks, silhouettes, and promises."

 

 

 

her twitter status about the article: https://twitter.com/juliarubin/status/509705920872734720

 

WRITTEN BY THIS WOMAN:

 

(drag ha!!!!)  

 

http://racked.com/archives/2014/09/10/britney-spears-the-intimate-lingerie-collection-nyfw-spring-2015.php

 

 

https://twitter.com/juliarubin

 

[Mr American Dream]

This bitch should stfu! The lingerie rocks, the models were sexy, Britney was(IS) sexy, Britney was charming and beautiful. What the hell does she want?

A bitch-slap from the BArmy.

[Pokémon Spears]

who is she? Christina Aguilera in disguise?

[Xhesiko]

A negative review from an irrelevant website...what is a Vox.Mag??? 

[Guest Zooey Deschanel]

A negative review from an irrelevant website...what is a Vox.Mag??? 

 

vox magazine

 

ok i need to google.

 

 

this i guess, http://www.voxmagazine.com/

 

 

?

 

just check her twitter or something. this is my first time i've heard about that mag.

[IGOTYOUCRAZY]

LOL She's got a problem. She didn't just simply "go there for 28 exact seconds", she arrived much earlier to start doing the interviews where there, my friend, she shoes her personality in a way we haven't seen for years. And after she thanked her models and talked about the project for those "28 seconds" she had to continue her day in NY promoting it.

 

So she can stay away, sit, and shut the fuck up.

[Guest Zooey Deschanel]

LOL She's got a problem. She didn't just simply "go there for 28 exact seconds", she arrived much earlier to start doing the interviews where there, my friend, she shoes her personality in a way we haven't seen for years. And after she thanked her models and talked about the project for those "28 seconds" she had to continue her day in NY promoting it.

 

So she can stay away, sit, and shut the fuck up.

 

she deserves to be dragged af.

 

i'm so doing it.

[IGOTYOUCRAZY]

she deserves to be dragged af.

 

i'm so doing it.

Do it but I personally am NOT spending my time on her. 

[Guest Zooey Deschanel]

Do it but I personally am NOT spending my time on her. 

 

https://twitter.com/juliarubin/status/509705920872734720

[IGOTYOUCRAZY]

https://twitter.com/juliarubin/status/509705920872734720

I don't see ur dragging?

[Guest Zooey Deschanel]

I don't see ur dragging?

 

here:

 

http://racked.com/archives/2014/09/10/britney-spears-the-intimate-lingerie-collection-nyfw-spring-2015.php

[britneystanstan]

Meh, there were a lot better reviewers from more reputable sites that took it for what it was. It wasn't a Versace show and it wasn't trying to be.

[IGOTYOUCRAZY]

here:

 

http://racked.com/archives/2014/09/10/britney-spears-the-intimate-lingerie-collection-nyfw-spring-2015.php

which one of them?

[Guest Zooey Deschanel]

which one of them?

 

the last one ofc lol

[IGOTYOUCRAZY]

the last one ofc lol

Slaaaaaaay

[Brian.TheDog]

she's entitled to her opinion

 

some people will like it , some don't 

 

but the show was about the lingerie not britney 

[Corona]

The show in Europe I think Britney is going to make a big splash. She has hired dancers, M&Gs the whole works. I think she is making up for not being able to perform over there.

[britneystanstan]

"1) Her die-hard fans weren't even allowed in. We all know it was a press-only event, not for her die-hard fans so stop lying. It ain't cute. Especially when it looks like there were more people in the audience than readers of this site.

2) It's Eaux, not Eaus. If you want people to consider you high brow, at least know proper French, FAUX hipster (see? not so hard, is it?).

3) You weren't going to a Versace show, which I doubt you'd ever get invited to. It was the launch of a celebrity lingerie product and it wasn't pretending to be any more than that."

 

Whoop there's mine

[LiaLovesGodney]

"1) Her die-hard fans weren't even allowed in. We all know it was a press-only event, not for her die-hard fans so stop lying. It ain't cute. Especially when it looks like there were more people in the audience than readers of this site.

2) It's Eaux, not Eaus. If you want people to consider you high brow, at least know proper French, FAUX hipster (see? not so hard, is it?).

3) You weren't going to a Versace show, which I doubt you'd ever get invited to. It was the launch of a celebrity lingerie product and it wasn't pretending to be any more than that."

Whoop there's mine

Slay a bit with your classy dragging skills.

[Guest Zooey Deschanel]

i love dragging her

 

[TheSnake]

LOL She's got a problem. She didn't just simply "go there for 28 exact seconds", she arrived much earlier to start doing the interviews where there, my friend, she shoes her personality in a way we haven't seen for years. And after she thanked her models and talked about the project for those "28 seconds" she had to continue her day in NY promoting it.

So she can stay away, sit, and shut the fuck up.

Let's not forget the fact that NO designer in the world ever stays on the stage other than maybe at the start (very rare) and then at the end. They walk down the catwalk at the end with their partner and then sometimes a model might bring flowers (but again, rare). Usually they come on at the end, walk down the catwalk, say "thanks for coming. I've been working on this line for ____ years and I really hope you're all able to see the detail and passion that's gone into it" then they go. It's not a ducking acceptance speech

[Guest Zooey Deschanel]

Let's not forget the fact that NO designer in the world ever stays on the stage other than maybe at the start (very rare) and then at the end. They walk down the catwalk at the end with their partner and then sometimes a model might bring flowers (but again, rare). Usually they come on at the end, walk down the catwalk, say "thanks for coming. I've been working on this line for ____ years and I really hope you're all able to see the detail and passion that's gone into it" then they go. It's not a ducking acceptance speech

 

tell that to her.

 

idk what kind of fashion show that idiot expected

[javi_spears]

 

"1) Her die-hard fans weren't even allowed in. We all know it was a press-only event, not for her die-hard fans so stop lying. It ain't cute. Especially when it looks like there were more people in the audience than readers of this site.

2) It's Eaux, not Eaus. If you want people to consider you high brow, at least know proper French, FAUX hipster (see? not so hard, is it?).

3) You weren't going to a Versace show, which I doubt you'd ever get invited to. It was the launch of a celebrity lingerie product and it wasn't pretending to be any more than that."

 

Whoop there's mine

 

 

I hope you send it to that bitch 

[javi_spears]

I hate how people in fashion industry make reviews like this, I mean fashion as art Is subjective, how can they be

 

 

 

right or have the truth about what´s right or wrong 

 

 

And besides Britney wasn´t too much there because she was busy with all that flawless promotion  :dealwitit:

[TheSnake]

I think yes, she is being out of order and bitter, but I think though at the end of the day, we are all human beings with hearts, no matter how nice or how nasty we are. Tbh, we don't need to get too personal cos at the end of the day it makes you all look pathetic and childish cos who would actually say all that stuff to their face? Online hate just shows what negativity you have inside of you that you're too scared to say face to face.

Two years ago, I would do the exact same thing but I'm older now and, although I know I'm not the most attractive person in the world and only good at certain things like singing, acting and dancing, I'm wiser. I'm saying this cos I think Britney is in the same frame of mind and has been for a long time. It's a nice place to be in. I'm not gonna get too deep but, I've had stuff said to me. I've lived near a gang where they'd say 'gay' everytime I walked past the way they lived. I've had verbal and bruises from my sister for so many years. But I think in life, you come to a point where it doesn't matter anymore. It doesn't mean you love yourself so it doesn't matter what people say, you just don't let it bother you. It's a cool place to be in. Don't get me wrong, I have my times where I get upset and wonder why things are to easier sometimes but you just move on and try and look to tomorrow. It's a refreshing place to be in once you get there

Sorry if that went on a bit and off the topic but I truly believe if it doesn't matter to Brit, I don't think she'd want it to bother us. Yes, support her. But don't bully someone for not being happy. It kinda defeats the object.

Sorry again, it started off as a lecture but as I was writing it, I realised even through all of this stress of losing/gaining friends, going to uni and all this shit, I'm kinda in a great place

But most of all, I hope you all appreciate it as that and not some weird dramatic speech. Thanks haha