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Today I headed to the beach I usualy go. I have a burn scar on my back just healing from 1 week ago.And because of that I need to apply sun cream to my back.But since my brother is no longer live with us and my parent chose not to go to the beach . I needed someone to apply it for me . It's summer and I don't think applying sun cream for someone is weird.I did so many times for strangers.

So I asked this guy who seemed the only person I could see on the beach , the other people were so far away , and he was just walking by the shore.So I asked him and if he can apply the cream to my back.

And he said " wouldn't people get it wrong to see a man touching another man ?"

and I said: " It's summer i and why do you think I'm doing this , don't you see the scar on my back sir , I need to apply that sun cream , If you're going to look at it as a sexual thing I would walk 2 miles and find someone to apply it for me ."

and he said " no , please let me apply it"

and then he applied the sun cream with his fingertips ,and he said that I have to shave my back more carefully.

I was like " sir I just ask you the apply sun cream , please stop looking my body,I was wrong at the first place to ask you,please leave"

and I enjoyed the sun , swam on the sea possible I can .

And then after that incident , he suddenly came over to my near and said that he felt so sorry for saying such things .

I said "what do you think I am ? Some kind of prostitute?Is that what you look like topeople who wants sun cream to be applied and has no one to accompany with them?"

and then he said that he deeply sorry for saying such things and asked if he could join me with sunbathing.

I was like :

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and then I said " well , I'm alone , you can join" .

and we started to talk.One thing to another ,he asked me if I'm gay . And I was like :

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and then he said that he's a bisexual guy. (And if I can explain that guy , he's just a spanish statue ,very well shaped body, a little hair on the nipple ,and the rest is shaved , 5'9 feet lenght tanned skin , green eyes,deep charismatic voice.) and then he said that he's bisexual and never ever been with a man .And he's wondering how is it like.We talked about these sexual stuff.

And at some point we talked about our relationships etc. I was like :

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we talked , talked , talked , he was all playful , flirty with me .We've almost hang out 6 hours on the beach. And then he started to starie to the other people if they're looking.And there was nobody in the beach . He was all so shy and looking my hands but couldn't reach them.

And then I suddenly hold his hand .I'm 24 and he's 33 btw.

I said how do you feel.And he saidthat he get excited.

I was fucking happy and sure that spanish statue would bang me at tonight.

Than he suddenly removed his hand from mine and said that he can wait for the right person . And he feels like this is not the right time .And said that he doesn't want to upset his girfriend.and he wish I could be a woman, so he could've get intimate with me

I was like:

this is my fucking 4th year without a boyfriend . My last boyfriend cheated on me and said that I'm not a boyfriend material .And you're holding my hand and romoving it because you think that this is not the right moment?

fuck you.

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and then I landed at home and he said that If i will come tomorrow because he's leaving tomorrow. He's just here because he's on vocation.I said that well , this have to be a joke , I don't know what to say , I come to this beach daily because I'm on vocation as well.and then we split.No telephone numbers , no kiks , no instagrams , no facebooks no surnames.

Is it always have to be like this?Will I get " you're not a person worth to love,this is not the right moment , I'm in love with someone else, " excuse after they concuqer my walls?

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what should I do?

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Well first I would start off by learning English

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who talks to total strangers on a beach like this, i think you need to talk to your parents and have don't get in the car with strangers talk. i am afraid in a couple of years you will end up on a missing persons list or murdered. he could have been a total weirdo, had a sexual disease or do a Matthew Sheppard on you pretending he was gay lured  you away and killed you. talk to strangers you meet on a beach about the weather don't tell them personal details and leave the beach with them.be careful you don't know who people are.

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who talks to total strangers on a beach like this, i think you need to talk to your parents and have don't get in the car with strangers talk. i am afraid in a couple of years you will end up on a missing persons list or murdered. he could have been a total weirdo, had a sexual disease or do a Matthew Sheppard on you pretending he was gay lured  you away and killed you. talk to strangers you meet on a beach about the weather don't tell them personal details and leave the beach with them.be careful you don't know who people are.

:crying1:

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who talks to total strangers on a beach like this, i think you need to talk to your parents and have don't get in the car with strangers talk. i am afraid in a couple of years you will end up on a missing persons list or murdered. he could have been a total weirdo, had a sexual disease or do a Matthew Sheppard on you pretending he was gay lured you away and killed you. talk to strangers you meet on a beach about the weather don't tell them personal details and leave the beach with them.be careful you don't know who people are.

Is there any other way? My parents doesn't kniw about me being gay. They're religious people.zI'm completely alone at this situation . And days ago i opened a thread about this "do not trust people" topic.

I know that there's danger. But it's been 4 years since i lived a decent romance. I'm tired of being alone.

The guy did not came as he promised .And i feel completely guilty after reading your warning. But what can i do.. if you go to night clubs,there's danger,if you go on grindr ,there's danger. There's nobody whom i can relate myself to...

I k ow i'm lucky i havrn't left something bad. I read a lot of stuff about jeffrey dahmer etc..

I'm completely lost about this situation. :/

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Is there any other way? My parents doesn't kniw about me being gay. They're religious people.zI'm completely alone at this situation . And days ago i opened a thread about this "do not trust people" topic.

I know that there's danger. But it's been 4 years since i lived a decent romance. I'm tired of being alone.

The guy did not came as he promised .And i feel completely guilty after reading your warning. But what can i do.. if you go to night clubs,there's danger,if you go on grindr ,there's danger. There's nobody whom i can relate myself to...

I k ow i'm lucky i havrn't left something bad. I read a lot of stuff about jeffrey dahmer etc..

I'm completely lost about this situation. :/

i think what  you  need  to do first is try to create a group of gay male friends that you can go with in a group to gay clubs or different gay social events. like if you know any gay people try to meet up together do friend activities then each new gay person will know another gay person to add to your circle of friends.if there gay pride events partake in that.

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i'm sorry. :( i'm without boyfriend too (i'm a girl and straight) 

and today (like 1000 times&more) someone asked me why i don't have a boyfriend yet.

and how i ''need'' to flirt with someone  and blahblahblah. well i said that these

things like having boyfriend or being in relationship is not something to force and

not something to make others happy. and you can't force a relationship without emotions

from both sides and not just one either. i think i might be ready to date, but i will go with the flow and it

piss me off when others act like that i ''have'' to be in relationship. no bitch, i will be in relationship

because of my own happiness and not because someone else said. i know it's getting hard. but

maybe it really isn't meant to be just yet. but when you will met someone that you will be in true love

with and be like: this is it, then i bet you will be the happiest person on earth.  don't force these things for

every price my firend. 

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i'm sorry. :( i'm without boyfriend too (i'm a girl and straight) 

and today (like 1000 times&more) someone asked me why i don't have a boyfriend yet.

and how i ''need'' to flirt with someone  and blahblahblah. well i said that these

things like having boyfriend or being in relationship is not something to force and

not something to make others happy. and you can't force a relationship without emotions

from both sides and not just one either. i think i might be ready to date, but i will go with the flow and it

piss me off when others act like that i ''have'' to be in relationship. no bitch, i will be in relationship

because of my own happiness and not because someone else said. i know it's getting hard. but

maybe it really isn't meant to be just yet. but when you will met someone that you will be in true love

with and be like: this is it, then i bet you will be the happiest person on earth.  don't force these things for

every price my firend. 

I hope we meant to be happy and able to share our love with "the one" sweety . 

tumblr_lxyzyuHFDz1qezxsoo1_500.gif

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i think what  you  need  to do first is try to create a group of gay male friends that you can go with in a group to gay clubs or different gay social events. like if you know any gay people try to meet up together do friend activities then each new gay person will know another gay person to add to your circle of friends.if there gay pride events partake in that.

I tried that baby ... I had a group of just gay people only.

 

But it all gone wrong.I was not able to control their behaviours ,their actions . I was going out with them but at the and of the night all I got was hand full of drama.They were trying to flirt with  straight guys outside,  and I was almost exposed to my school.

 

Now I don't do the night clubbing thing,I hang out with my straight friends  who has gay friends .Straight people are somehow makes me feel safe. 

 

:crying1:

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