Entertainment Weekly: Every Britney Song EVER RANKED!!!

[gimmework]

Entertainment weekly just posted this article ranking all of our Queens songs!!!  YASSS EW get that PROMO!!

 

What do you guys think of the Top 10?!?!?! Any other upsets in the list?

What did they get right and what's way oh sooooo WRONG???!!! 

 

http://www.ew.com/article/2016/09/01/every-britney-spears-song-ranked

 

Article Summary: Only going to copy and paste the Top 10 because it's a LONG LONG LONG article!!

 

Every Britney Spears song, ranked

From 'E-Mail My Heart' to one of the greatest pop songs of the modern era, EW sizes up the pop queen's incredible catalog

 

10. “Lucky” (2000)

This is a story about a girl named Lucky, but also Britney Spears: “She’s so lucky, she’s a star but she cry cry cries in her lonely heart, thinking if there’s nothing missing in my life then why do these tears come at night?” Has there ever been such a tragic pop song about fame? Given everything we know about Spears’ past decade, it’s hard not to hear “Lucky” as a haunting premonition, packaged in fairy dust.–J.G.

9. “3” (2009)

B’s panty-dropping ode to three- or more-somes — “Triple-fun that way/Twister on the floor/What do you say?” — shot straight (or if you prefer, bi-curious) to No. 1, making it the first and so far only chart-topping pop song to reference both group sex and the ’60s folk trio Peter, Paul and Mary. The provocative topic and throbbing hook went a long way toward making it one of Spears’ most memorable hits. Also not hurting: The sleek, stripped-down video, a celebration of hot bodies, poles, and leotards helmed by Diane Martel, who would famously go on to direct Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” and Miley’s “We Can’t Stop.” –L.G.

8. “Gimme More” (2007)

“It’s Britney, bitch!” Those three words made this Blackout single instantly beloved, but Danja helped make it a classic: the producer’s apocalyptic arcade stomper sounds like Pac-Man chasing pac-dots around a stripper pole. And though the song’s legacy is marred by a notorious VMAs performance, there’s something appropriately meta about these lyrics coinciding with a dark time in Spears’ life. The public always hungered for another photo, another story, another scandal. So when the song’s bridge arrives and Spears starts to purr, “They want more? Well I’ll give them more,” it doesn’t feel like come-on — it sounds like a threat. –N.F.

7. “Till the World Ends” (2011)

Featuring the most anthemic wordless chorus since Zombie Nation’s “Kernkraft 4000” swept sports arenas, this single from 2011’s Femme Fatale flips the script of the usual Britney bangers. Instead of pretending to be a song about dancing that’s not-so-secretly about sex, this one—barring a few innuendos courtesy of co-writer Kesha—actually is about dancing all night. It’s that innocence that make thoseoh-oh-oh-ohs feel so buoyant, and it’s what makes the song’s true chorus, arriving well after the two minute mark, feel like pure intravenous bliss. –N.F.

6. “Everytime” (2003)

It’s easy to chalk Britney’s successes up to someone else: Credit her longtime manager’s savvy, her father’s intervention during her tabloid lows, her producers’ studio wizardry—anything but Britney. Yet when it comes to her finest ballad and one of the most emotionally affecting songs of her career, you really have Britney to thank. As the story goes, she wrote the bones of this track on the piano by herself before giving it to producer Guy Sigsworth to flesh out. Is it her storied response to Justin Timberlake’s “Cry Me a River”? Probably. But you don’t need to know that to feel Brit’s pain — the song can break hearts even without a juicy backstory. –N.F.

5. “Piece of Me” (2007)

Miss American Dream, Miss Bad Media Karma, Mrs. Oh My God That Britney’s Shameless: She was all those things and more when this track was released at a low point in her personal life. But she proved her naysayers wrong—not only by showing she could be in on the joke, but by delivering a song that’s chillingly raw and autobiographical, and one of the most sonically adventurous of her career. –K.O.

4. “Oops!… I Did It Again” (2000)

Technically the “it” in the title referred to Britney’s bad habit of playing with boys’ hearts. But really, “Oops” was about duplicating the San Andreas-size impact of her debut single “…Baby One More Time” a year earlier—and even if it only eked into the Hot 100 top 10, the song still topped the Pop Songs chart and went to no. 1 in more than a dozen countries. More importantly, it gave us one of Spears’ all-time purest shots of pop adrenaline: A four-minute symphony of solar plexus-punching synths, glorious yeahyeahyeah vocal fry, and of course, the legendary red latex that played with all the boys’… parts. (Let’s just say she wasn’t the only one who was not that inn-o-cent by the time the video was over). –L.G.

3. “I’m a Slave 4 U” (2001)

The final nail in the Mickey Mouse Club coffin, the Neptunes-helmed “Slave” was the sound of Spears fully claiming her sexuality with a snake-charming hook and lyrics that more than teased at S&M. “Baby, don’t you wanna dance up on me?” she asked. “Leaving behind my name, my age.” For the record she was still 19—but clearly her chaperoned Disney days were way over. –L.G.

2. “…Baby One More Time” (1999)

When “…Baby One More Time” dropped, 16-year-old Britney Spears was a former Disney star, hoping to break big. And her studio partner, Max Martin, was still better known as Martin Sandberg, a former Swedish rocker trying his hand at pop production and songwriting. This track was originally penned with ‘90s hitmakers TLC in mind; the group declined to record it because, as T-Boz said in a later interview, “It’s good for her, but was I going to say, ‘Hit me baby one more time’? Hell no!” But their loss proved Spears gain. The tune shot straight to No.1 on the Billboard Hot 100 and kicked off the Teen Pop boom of the early 2000s, which saw the meteoric rise of acts like Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, Kelly Clarkson, P!NK, and many more. (Martin wrote No.1’s for each of those artists.) Spears also introduced a new archetype of pop star, one whose likeness is splashed across everything from perfumes to Pepsi cans—and whose personal life is the endless subject of tabloid covers. Musically, however, “…Baby One More Time” perfectly captured the wide-eyed innocence of a world that would irrevocably be changed by 9/11. –M.V.

1. “Toxic” (2003)

From the first crazy seesaw of those opening strings—so Norman Bates does disco!—it was Crystal Pepsi clear: She’d done it again. Co-penned by Swedish Hot 100 wizards Bloodshy & Avant and another lady who knew a little bit about catsuits, “Toxic” was reportedly passed on by Kylie Minogue before Britney decided to take a sip from the devil’s cup. “With the taste of your lips/I’m on a ride,” she helium-cooed, letting us ride shotgun straight to a poison paradise of stuttering dancefloor bhangra, spaghetti-western guitars, and the ultimate arsenic-laced maraschino cherry on top: Spears’ own kiss-me-deadly vocals. A girl like her should wear a warning. –L.G.

[HolySpearit]

I just love your signature so much  

[DeniseBryson]

Ugh.

That list was so shady.

 

They should have just done her top 25-50 instead they used this as a means to shade her any chance they got

 

 

[Daydream, Mariah's fantasy]

the list is shit  

[ForeverFeel1ng]

Just Luv Me should've been higher other than that it's pretty accurate

[gimmework]

44 minutes ago, Universe>Exhale said:

Ugh.

That list was so shady.

 

They should have just done her top 25-50 instead they used this as a means to shade her any chance they got

 

 

 

I mean I don't think the are shading her really.. I mean they are critical of the ones at the end but around the top 100 songs they give a bunch of praise especially for the top 50! That being said I do think quite a few of the songs are ranked out of order! I mean I guess it's subjective but I would definitely have put some of the songs higher and moved a lot of the filler songs back. I did like it that they gave major props to How I Roll, Amnesia and Unusual You! Those are really great tracks that deserve the praise for sure!! 

[Wendy Williams]

Shitty article - how can be Body Ache better than everything what Britney recorded with her own voice?

!!!!MESS!!!!

 

[jono]

As soon as I saw Let me Be and WILTBM basically at the bottom I knew it was a flop list tbh 

When they say The Hook Up, The Answer, Why Should I Be Sad, DGKOMD and Bombastic Love are all worse than Pretty Girls

But I do like how they put Heaven on Earth, How I Roll and Perfume so high. BTI should be a little higher tho, top 20 at least 

[Freakboi]

E-mail my heart it's in the last place, really?? that song it's one of her best tbh

[MissSpearsSaysSo]

Soda Pop should have been higher. 

[gimmework]

13 hours ago, jono said:

As soon as I saw Let me Be and WILTBM basically at the bottom I knew it was a flop list tbh 

When they say The Hook Up, The Answer, Why Should I Be Sad, DGKOMD and Bombastic Love are all worse than Pretty Girls

But I do like how they put Heaven on Earth, How I Roll and Perfume so high. BTI should be a little higher tho, top 20 at least 

 

I TOTALLY agree with this!  HOW is BTI not in the top 20??!! They flopped on a bunch but got somethings right. It's weird I almost feel like they tried to purposefully spread out songs from each era over the coarse of the list, otherwise most of BOMT and BJ would have been towards the bottom.. idk?? 

[Mrs Jared Leto]

gimme more should be in the top #3  

[3184373295524]

I knew Toxic was N 1
I like that song and I know its success and how iconic it is but it's def not the best song she's ever made musically

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